Lindsey Rietzsch |
I was just asked this question on Thursday by a friend of
mine who is writing a book, “How do you juggle being a mom and writing a book?
Any good tips?”
Funny, because I get asked this all the time and thought it
would be the perfect topic to start off the week.
Ask any mom with a side business, blog, or hobby – and she’ll
tell you that in order to keep your sanity you need to prioritize, organize and
makes some sacrifices. It’s very simple but easier said than done!
For me, I set aside specific times for writing so that it
doesn’t interfere with my family time. My kids nap and have quiet time from
12:30 to 3:00 every day. That is my time to do business stuff, blog, and write
books. All other time throughout the day is reserved for taking care of my
family. After the kids go to bed I squeeze in my workout and a little reading –
but it’s important that I reserve the evenings to spend time with my husband.
By sticking to this schedule everyone stays happy and I feel
in control. HOWEVER, I must admit I have been guilty of not sticking to the
schedule when I get caught up in a great idea. On days like this, I am glued to
my computer, my kids are still in their PJs and they are helping themselves to
the fridge and pantry – which means a giant mess in the kitchen. Not to mention
on days like this my phone seems to ring off the hook and beep with endless text
messages. By the time the kids are in bed, I’m too tired to exercise and I feel
mentally exhausted which makes for one big headache.
Overall, I think when you’re kids see you constantly on the computer
or phone they feel neglected and you end up feeling guilt ridden by the end of
the day – I know I do.
So, here are some quick tips to help you juggle writing with parenthood:
Make a Schedule and Stick to It!
Set aside no more than 2 ½ hours a day to do your writing. I
have found that anything more than that is too much anyways and I end up
needing a break from my computer screen. If the time is up and you feel you are
on fire with your writing and need to keep going – allow yourself an extra
15-20 minutes tops. Quickly type your ideas out so you can get back to them the
next day. Then you don’t have to worry about forgetting them.
Do Your Writing When You Have Alone Time
You don’t want your spouse and kids to resent your writing because
it’s become your number one priority. When they are in the room, they should be
your priority. Besides, it’s hard to write when you have distractions and it’s
easy to lose your temper at your kids or spouse when they cause you to lose
your train of thought or interrupt your flow. It’s just best to write when you
have alone time. If that means turning on a movie, giving them quiet
time in their rooms or sending them off on a play date – they won’t mind if it’s
a part of the daily schedule. Kids do well with routine and it’s good for everyone
to have a break. If you are consistent with your schedule this will work just
fine. If you are not, your kids may have a hard time with it.
Don’t Make Writing Your Only Focus
If you eat, breath and sleep writing it’s easy to let it
overtake other areas of your life. I have found that it’s good to turn that
part of my brain off during the day and only allow it on during my writing time
or when I’m alone such as driving, in the shower, etc. Sometimes I have to
force myself to enjoy a good movie , bakes some treats or even paint my
toenails – because when I have a good idea for my next chapter all I want to do
is write. But by taking time for myself to enjoy other things I tend to be
happier which makes for a happier mom and wife.
Make Small Sacrifices
If you have a super busy schedule and it’s hard to find the
time to write you may need to make some small sacrifices. Giving up some TV
time, cooking quick meals, or getting up early in the morning are all ways to
add some extra time for your writing. It may even be that you only have time on
the weekends to write – that’s okay. Writing is something that shouldn’t be
rushed; a good book takes time.
Summary
It’s very possible to be a mom and an author, you just have
to set guidelines for yourself and your family and stick to them. Remember
also, that it’s okay to take long breaks. I sometimes will skip an entire week
if needs be. If you ever feel guilty – listen to those feelings and don’t
ignore them. Take a break and tend to the things that are more important. Don’t
sacrifice a clean house and happy kids for the sake of finishing a chapter – it’s
just not worth it. Write during designated times and make sure your family is
aware and okay with those designated times to avoid conflict. Overall, if you
stick to these tips I’m confident you’ll be able to find a nice balance between
being a writer and being a mom.
Happy Writing!
Lindsey
I like your advice to do your writing when you have alone time. I have a tendency to get flurries of ideas and want to tackle them all at once. But I'm much happier (and so is the rest of my family) when I can sit down and focus during designated times. My writing is better, I don't feel guilty, and all of my activities seem to have a proper home. Great post!
ReplyDeleteThanks Rachel!
ReplyDeleteI keep a small note pad with me at all times so I don't forget an idea that may pop in my head for writing or business. This helps keeps me organized and allows me not to loose any potential ideas I may have later without taking time away from my kids or my hubby.
ReplyDeleteElsha Fornefeld